Our Hotwives

At first we faced all the usual challenges. She was a hard “NO”, but after many conversations, sharing fears, and working though difficult scenarios she finally agreed to try it. So about six or seven years ago, she put a profile on a dating app and was soon messaged by hundreds of men. (no exaggeration). After sorting through deleting and chatting with many of the prospects, she finally started to go on dates and we were able to connect with a guy that live nearby for first hotwife experience. They decided to meet in a hotel bar where I had also secured a room for the night after a few hours they made their way back to the room and fucked. I loved every second of it. They dated two or three more times before she wanted to move onto somebody else and soon was dating quite often. In the beginning, the pace was very fast and she quickly fucked five or six other men. Overtime the continuous dating got to be a burden so for a couple years, she settle down with one guy and she would see him every other month or so. She dated him for several years while occasionally having hookups with other men or ex-boyfriends. Sally, however the last two years all the activities have basically dropped to zero. IT SUCKED. I very patiently. Waited for moments to dip back into the lifestyle and try dating some new men unfortunately she was finding faults in just about everyone she met or chatted with.

I’ve got a very similar story and have decided we’re “rebound wannabes”.

My wife was a hard ‘no’ but she entertained it as fantasy in the bedroom. 10 or so years ago, she reconnected with an old fling and after a lot of talk she jumped in. That’s started a number of years and while she never used a dating site of any kind, she did have a few FWB scenarios with three different guys over the course of 6-7 years or so. She had a date or two with other guys she never went anywhere with physically but ultimately she developed an emotional connection with one guy in particular. Eventually they fizzled out. It was like a bad breakup and got her hard. Ever since. She’s not been keen to get back into a new situation and she’s been content to close our relationship back up.

She knows of my desire to keep the cuck/hot wife thing going, but she’s not interested in doing it for my kicks. While she knows she has the green light should she ever find someone new, she’s not actively looking so who knows if it will happen.

Not exactly a wannabe, but boy do I wanna be back in the hotwife lifestyle.

parklife wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 12, 2025 4:48 pm

I’ve got a very similar story and have decided we’re “rebound wannabes”.

My wife was a hard ‘no’ but she entertained it as fantasy in the bedroom. 10 or so years ago, she reconnected with an old fling and after a lot of talk she jumped in. That’s started a number of years and while she never used a dating site of any kind, she did have a few FWB scenarios with three different guys over the course of 6-7 years or so. She had a date or two with other guys she never went anywhere with physically but ultimately she developed an emotional connection with one guy in particular. Eventually they fizzled out. It was like a bad breakup and got her hard. Ever since. She’s not been keen to get back into a new situation and she’s been content to close our relationship back up.

She knows of my desire to keep the cuck/hot wife thing going, but she’s not interested in doing it for my kicks. While she knows she has the green light should she ever find someone new, she’s not actively looking so who knows if it will happen.

Not exactly a wannabe, but boy do I wanna be back in the hotwife lifestyle.

Having no real experience I'm struck with your post and left wondering which is worse, to have never experienced it at all or having had the experience and seeing it fade away into ambivalence? I'm sure that people like myself, that have never had the experience, will swear they have it worse. They'll cite, "It's better to have loved and lost than it is to never have loved at all!"

On the other hand, it has to be somewhat (if not excruciatingly) depressing to see that desire in your wife come and go. There are so many variables that have to be just right to tick all the right boxes. I frequently have read here about wives wanting an emotional connection and having it end with some unintended heartache. Sometimes that heartache alone is enough to end the exploration, been there, done that, no thanks.

I can't see it being easy for the husband of a hotwife in those circumstances. They must patiently and lovingly help their wife work past the hurt from a "bad break-up". I've read that for some it could take a long or it could be never. A husband knows without an interested wife there is no "playing". If a wife's mind is made up, ultimately she's the only one that can change it. For a husband of a hotwife that was hopeful for more and enjoyed the situation it has to be difficult to see those hopes feel like a closed chapter in your life.

I'm still on the outside looking in so I don't honestly know anything!

Hubby2myHW wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 12, 2025 5:53 am

At first we faced all the usual challenges. She was a hard “NO”, but after many conversations, sharing fears, and working though difficult scenarios she finally agreed to try it. So about six or seven years ago, she put a profile on a dating app and was soon messaged by hundreds of men. (no exaggeration). After sorting through deleting and chatting with many of the prospects, she finally started to go on dates and we were able to connect with a guy that live nearby for first hotwife experience. They decided to meet in a hotel bar where I had also secured a room for the night after a few hours they made their way back to the room and fucked. I loved every second of it. They dated two or three more times before she wanted to move onto somebody else and soon was dating quite often. In the beginning, the pace was very fast and she quickly fucked five or six other men. Overtime the continuous dating got to be a burden so for a couple years, she settle down with one guy and she would see him every other month or so. She dated him for several years while occasionally having hookups with other men or ex-boyfriends. Sally, however the last two years all the activities have basically dropped to zero. IT SUCKED. I very patiently. Waited for moments to dip back into the lifestyle and try dating some new men unfortunately she was finding faults in just about everyone she met or chatted with.

Do you think it just ran its course with her? When you said she was "finding faults in everyone" it made me think of my single divorced bar buddies. All of them have the same issue with "finding faults" or as they call them, "showstoppers"! Could you tell if she lost her thrill for it? For the husband of a hotwife that is into it, it has to be disheartening to see that desire in your wife come and go.

coastalkid wrote: ↑

Sat Mar 22, 2025 10:13 am

Having no real experience I'm struck with your post and left wondering which is worse, to have never experienced it at all or having had the experience and seeing it fade away into ambivalence? I'm sure that people like myself, that have never had the experience, will swear they have it worse. They'll cite, "It's better to have loved and lost than it is to never have loved at all!"

On the other hand, it has to be somewhat (if not excruciatingly) depressing to see that desire in your wife come and go. There are so many variables that have to be just right to tick all the right boxes. I frequently have read here about wives wanting an emotional connection and having it end with some unintended heartache. Sometimes that heartache alone is enough to end the exploration, been there, done that, no thanks.

I can't see it being easy for the husband of a hotwife in those circumstances. They must patiently and lovingly help their wife work past the hurt from a "bad break-up". I've read that for some it could take a long or it could be never. A husband knows without an interested wife there is no "playing". If a wife's mind is made up, ultimately she's the only one that can change it. For a husband of a hotwife that was hopeful for more and enjoyed the situation it has to be difficult to see those hopes feel like a closed chapter in your life.

I'm still on the outside looking in so I don't honestly know anything!

Look, I’m not going to lie… it’s hard having had it and lost it by likely not for the reasons one might think. First, I would say it would have been worse to never having. Experienced it at all. And m grateful for the life we’ve led and the fun times we’ve had. Think about all of life’s great experiences…. They are better for having been loved than they are always pining for something untouched.

Does it stink afterwards? Sure. As you allude dealing with a heartbroken wife is hard… especially hard when it’s another guy that broke it. Talk about angst…. Nothing compares to listening to your wife cry herself to sleep knowing there is literally no thing you can do but be present.

But, honestly, the hard part of having been there and losing it is recognizing how good certain things were even when she doesn’t recognize them herself. I love that my wife was able to escape life for a few hours or a couple of days and be consumed by something that isn’t the day to day stressors of being parents and homeowners and everything related to it. I miss the soft sounds of her voice when she spoke with him or the giddy way she would smile as she read a text message that was meant just for her eyes. The sense of tension that left her for days after she came home… as if a weight had temporarily been lifted from her body.

She doesn’t remember those things…. She likely never consciously felt them when she was in the midst of it. But from outside, from looking at her at a distance, I could see them. Knowing her, I understand how ‘in the moment’ and lost in passion she had to be to allow herself come home with an unknown hickey on her neck. To be so wrapped up in the experience and be separated from her senses that she allows herself to be carried away in expressing herself without guardrails. Those are the things I miss. Knowing she was living her life to the fullest…. That she fucking owned it and took it by the horns and lived it with open honest aggression.

But it’s not necessarily an end never to return. She’s young, she knows what it’s like to fly and knows the door will never be closed on the cage. If the right circumstances arrive, I have no doubt she’ll embrace that freedom to explore again and express her love on her terms. If it never happens, then it was never meant to be again.

People come into and out of our lives constantly…. Some are like stars and are constantly there each night even when it’s cloudy. There can some that are Vlike the nort better helmet to ground and guide you thru the long journey of life. But some are like comets that burn bright and bring excitement for their brief burst into our lives. They come and go and are but brief interludes in our nights but bring an intensity that serves to remind of that there are still so many wonders in the world. They all serve a purpose but not all need to be forever… just gotta keep your head up to give you a chance to see it all.

@parklife, Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful, caring, loving answer. I really felt the honesty and perspective in your share to us.

Yes, thank you Parklife! That was an excellent response and it was clear that it came straight from your heart! Your perspective can only come from someone that's had a taste. The one thing we do have in common is hope, although you have a much better idea of what you're hoping for. Thanks again for your reply!